Sometimes I ignore my son in favor of my husband. There. I said it. Go ahead, judge me. It’s the truth though.
There’s a movement right now of bloggers and writers that are talking about this subject, so I’m compelled to throw my two cents in also.
(See one article here: http://qz.com/273255/how-american-parenting-is-killing-the-american-marriage/)
One of the things Wes and I have always agreed on is that our marriage comes before our kid (soon to be kids). We think in the long run, this makes us better parents.
So this means sometimes, during dinner, if Ronan needs something, but Wes is in the middle of telling me about work, I’ll make Ronan wait for his ketchup. Guess what, Ronan gets over it.
It also means that even if Ronan doesn’t fall asleep right at 7 or 8 anymore, we put him to bed anyway. Nope, he doesn’t get to stay up and watch House of Cards with us. That’s our time. He plays in his bed after the 4th story, and falls asleep eventually.
We are blessed to have family close by that encourages us in this mindset also; they all pitch in to babysit so Wes and I can go on a date or spend time with adults. And to be honest, sometimes I feel guilty about that, because I work, so I’m already not home every day and then to go out on a Friday and have Ronan stay with a babysitter makes me feel guilty. But guess what? He usually has fun, gets to watch a fun movie, and spend time with family whom he loves. So I have to get over that guilt.
Overall, I’m just glad people are finally talking about this philosophy. It’s okay to not put your kids first all the time. It might even be better. It might make them grow up to be capable, independent citizens and more importantly, loving people. Maybe they’ll be able to say that their parents loved each other.
realgrownups 